Dear Immigrant: Before You Pack

Letter 01

Re: Before You Pack

Dear Immigrant,

You are going to pack too much. Everyone does. You will pack for a version of the destination that exists in your imagination — a version assembled from photographs, from stories told by people who went before you, from the things you have seen online. That version of the place is real in some ways and wrong in others, and the things you pack for it will reflect that mix of accuracy and imagination.

I am not going to tell you what to pack. You have people who will tell you what to pack. I want to tell you what you cannot pack, because these are the things that matter and the things that the lists do not mention.

You cannot pack the ease of being understood. The way that people in the place you are leaving know you without explanation — know your family, your neighborhood, your school, your accent, what your name means, what your people eat, what you do at funerals. You will leave all of that behind and you will not be able to carry it with you. It will be there when you come back, but it will not be with you in the new place. Not for a long time. Maybe not ever in quite the same way.

You cannot pack the assumption that you belong. At home, belonging is ambient — it is the air around you, not something you notice because you have never been without it. In the new place, belonging is something you build, slowly, through consistency and presence and the patient work of making yourself known to people who did not know you before. It takes longer than you expect.

Pack what you need for the body. Understand that what you need for the interior will have to be rebuilt from scratch. This is harder than the packing. It is also the actual work.

The flight is the easy part.

From the other side of that flight,
A former immigrant

dearimmigrant.com